What I Write When I Can’t Think of What To Write

  1. My autobiography. In bit and pieces. 48 years is a lot to compress into 3 pages. Hand-written, 300 words apiece, on college-ruled 8.5 x 11” paper. But I reinvent myself in various characters, such as Magenta, Captain of the Starship Ell Emm Ess, in my noveletta of the same name. That is a work-in-progress.
  2. Gratitude lists. Things for which I am grateful, such as trees, sunshine, kinky sex, Yngwie Malmsteen, Sweden, and sexy English accents. There are loads of other things for which I am grateful. Such as Road Dahl novels. (Examples are “James and the Giant Peach”, and “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”.
  3.  “Ten” lists. Lists of 10 things I wish to Be, Do, and Have for a given time period. Such as April 2014, the time of this writing. Or the current and upcoming Summer. (Now playing at an imagination near you!)
  4. Sexy, sultry love-poems to celebrities I’ve always wanted to fuck. Erection-inducing! Mushy, poetic, a modern-day “Song of Solomon” or “Canticle of Canticles”. You know, that erotic poem smack dab in the middle of the Old Testament! If I didn’t write it, I’m sure I proofread it!
  5. Sexy, tastefully inappropriate statements about the gorgeous legs, breasts, and butts of various Facebook Hunks ‘N’ Babes. Along with graphic descriptions of my favorite masturbation fantasies. Example: I’d love to give Kamala Devi of the San Diego polyamory crowd, a good Over the Knee Bare-Butt spanking! I know she wouldn’t object to that! She has several girlfriends, a husband, and various other casual boyfriends. Plus a young 7-year old
    Einstein who plays violin and makes pithy statements about life! Which his devoted Mom faithfully reports in her daily FB feeds!
  6. I love full moons. Stars. Cats. I miss my furry big, black Sampson. I had to give him up to an ASPCA shelter after narrowly escaping a dangerous housing situation. It was a heart-breaking choice. But I had to do it, for Sampson’s sake, as well as mine. I now think Mom and I did the right thing for all 3 of us. She’s allergic to cats! She made “dozens” of phone calls to various animal boarding places and ranches. Nobody else wanted him!

 

       This is what’s on my mind today, as I wrestle with painfully slow and-or non-existent wi-fi at the Weeks Branch Library in Hayward, CA!

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