How Do I Apologize To Myself for Those Unkind Words?

I don’t know anybody who is perfect.  I’m so full of ego!  Easing God Out!  What am I protecting myself from?  Too much intimacy!  Too much merging of minds, and bodies.  

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Scotty Angry Angel!

What am I protecting the world from?  A lust-ridden meltdown?  I am a Saint.  I am a Human.  I am proud.  I am ashamed.  I wish I could do something to help the children, the old, the sick, and the poor.  I have been many of those things!  

How do I make it up to myself for all the Hell I’ve put myself through?  The voluntary homelessness (I always had a roof over my head, but no lease and some very crazy monster roommates!)  I’ve faced being broke and nearly starving!  I own so many tech gadgets, it’s hilarious!  I have financial challenges.  They are temporary.  

It’s ALL temporary!  The motto might be “Enjoy It While It Lasts.”  This refers to chocolate, sex, Arabic language homework, live rock concerts, walks in nature and sunshine, and hugging trees and friends!  It could all be gone in the next breath.  

Life is NOT a bitch!  Then, I FLY!  I don’t die!  

If only I could do it all more perfectly next time!  NO, I don’t care to repeat this lifetime.  20 years’ of seclusion and almost zero sex relations is enough to last me, say, 2,000 MORE years!  I ride the wheel of time!  Like Kali!  

 

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