Dear Catharsis Letter–rehearsal for new sex advice mag

I’m a reader of Hot Magazine.   Love and sex advice for Millennials.  I’m dressed up as a young almost Grandma with no kids.  But trust me; I’m a totally hot Millennial woman with miles of attitude to spare.
     My question for you is, why do young dudes sometimes think with their junk, get a boner the size of the Eiffel Tower … then forget about me and treat their computer or device like a virtual girlfriend?

Love,  Angry and Aroused Babe

     Dear A&A Babe,

      Guys do think with their packages,  but only when horny.  Otherwise,  they use their brains.   Brains are part of the Sympathetic nervous system.   Erections happen with a dance between the Parasympathetic and the brain.  A boner is more than just blood flow–it’s a transcendental experience … for the dude who doesn’t masturbate for a week!  It’s called seminal retention.   Or sublimation.  
     He’s most likely a Bill Gates or Steve Jobs type looking for something to do for the other 23 hours and 45 minutes of the day!  Men are like women.   They can only tolerate so much boredom!

    The Dear Abby division of Hot Magazine


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