End-Of-Life Conversation

I foresee palliative care as a growing medical field. Apparently, there’s not yet enough of it.
What is the “end-of-life conversation?” This is Linda’s take on it….. It’s where I have a talk with my Death. Do I wish to die now…. or not?
My end-of-life can occur shortly after I turn 50. Or, I can renew my Most Sacred Contract for another 12 years. Hmmmm….. at 49, I wonder, why am I still alive?
Am I still alive for the positive possibility of “getting laid”? It’s more than that. I think I’m alive to give and receive pleasure as well as service.
Some people recently have told me they hope I die in a vehicular accident. I have prayed for them. I have experienced anger at them. They are very, very messed-up people! I am NOT ready to EVER die of “a vehicular accident.”
I have too much self-respect to stand in front of an oncoming train! I’m concerned it would cause trauma to the driver of said train! Do you realize it takes quite a long while to stop a freight train coming down the tracks at, say, 40 mph? It’s not like driving a car!
I also don’t want to wind up hurt. Standing in front of a TRAIN….. OUCH! Shit. That would effing HURT! I’m too much in love with pleasure to do that. I’m a creature of comfort. I love to rub this expensive lotion on parts of my body that get dry and tan in the sun. Burt’s Bee’s Milk and Honey lotion.
But enough about trains. Back to my end-of-life conversation.
Before I decide whether to die physically, I want to go to Courtesan School. I want to go to Europe for a whole summer. I want to revisit Hawaii. I want to land in Oahu this time. That’s where Honolulu airport and harbor are.
I”m making a Bucket List. Giving up celibacy…. or Having Sexual Fun of the Partnered, Embodied Kind, is NUMERO UNO on my “bucket list”. I want to kiss a woman! I want to go to bed with her! I want to try out more BDSM. I want to be a porn star. I want to try on a couple. OH, what to do? What to do?????
To me, sex and death are connected. I’m scared of my power. I feel like Goddess Kali! I’m learning to WORK with my power, DANCE with my power, MAKE LOVE with my power, and yes, FUCK with my power.
Forget fucking.
“Don’t forget fucking. Lust hasn’t forgotten YOU.”
This conversation will be continued.


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